she was so not down for the gang bang
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
