yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
