The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
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