thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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