my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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