No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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