I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize