What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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