so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize