But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Are my feet made of real feet?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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