i just had sex bonerless
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize