ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize