This is not my ceiling
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
