i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
