Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
