it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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