I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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