Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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