Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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