I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
