I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
