How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
