There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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