Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
