here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
