So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
never play flip cup with pint glasses
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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