i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
