She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Someone stole a lamp last night.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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