I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
