this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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