She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
