girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
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