She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
