So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
