I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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