Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
