i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
