she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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