and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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