If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
