So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
