The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
