Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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