Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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