i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
