Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
