So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
