Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
