I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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