Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
