2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
