all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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