Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I party with great urgency now.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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