I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
