'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Randomize
