What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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