this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
