He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
