I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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