if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
