grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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