so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
