Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
a search helicopter?!
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
