How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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