Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
