No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize