Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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