Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
