Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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